Tuesday, April 15, 2014

April

Woke up at 4 with that awful feeling in my gut. Grief. Every year around the anniversary of Grace's death, this week or even the month of April itself, brings fresh waves of grief. 

This year, I'm in NYC all week and have surrounded myself with family and friends and work--all of which have been helpful in keeping me busy and feeling positive. But today marked the anniversary of losing my dad, and I carried that around all day. No wonder grief snuck up on me while I slept. 

Most of you reading this know that this week is also joyful: both Sam and Annabelle's birthday. So glad to celebrate these amazing kids of mine, which began on Sunday and continues in various ways through the week. 

No doubt I will lie here until the sun comes up, letting this sadness fill me. Then the world will wake up (I already hear deliveries to the D'Agostino's across the street), I will drink my coffee and knit until it's time to step out into that world. For any of you feeling grief, fresh or familiar, we can do this today. I'm with you, and I feel all of your arms with me, holding each other up.