Wednesday, December 18, 2013

City sidewalks, pretty sidewalks...

...dressed in holiday style, in the air there's a feeling of Christmas! 

I love seeing all the Christmas trees on every corner here in NYC. Love their smell in the cold air. Even loved yesterday's snowfall. 

Burgers with a dear friend. Wine with cousins. The wonderful play BAD JEWS at the Roundabout. Dinner at Barbuto (raw Brussels sprout salad with hazelnuts and pecorino, roast chicken, and those potatoes I love so much). 

This is a much needed break, doing things I love with people I love in the city I love. 

Came at the right time too. Everyone out there who has experienced deep grief knows the holidays have a way of slamming you. I was starting to get pretty blue, felt that grief rising up. Oh! How I miss Gracie! 

So I've been knitting. A lot. Reading a lot. Trying to take care of myself. Grief is so powerful, and I felt it tugging at me, pulling me down. The tsunami brings back not just losing Grace, but my father who I miss every day, my brother gone longer now than we had him. And with that, old hurts surface too until you find yourself watching every episode of Scandal, your body feeling like it's held down with stones. Or knitting until your fingers ache. 

But Christmas and the love of family and friends, the promise of baking cookies, Seven Fishes, smiles on everyone's face when they open presents, the big trip ahead, beginning finally a new novel, and so much more help pull me through once again. 

Today: the Union Square Christmas Market. Matinee of Betrayal. Cocktails with cousins. Burt Bacharach play. Dinner at Prune. 

In the air there's a feeling of Christmas.