April, the cruelest month

Here I am, sitting in a hotel room in Orlando. Happy. Annabelle near me. Sam about to graduate from NYU and off to do summer stock in Annapolis, MD. My books selling well. A new novel almost finished. Feeling possibility and love and all good things. 

Yet 13 years ago I was in the ICU, beside Grace, praying for her to live. In four hours she would be dead. And my world would feel without possibility. Without hope. I would enter despair like no other. 

Yet. 

Yet. 

Oh the human heart! It never ceases to surprise me. 

If you are reading this and you are feeling hopeless, know that one day you will look up and find wonder again.