Autumn!

Some people like the sultry weather of summer, others come alive when daffodils poke their heads out and trees fill with blossoms, and surprising to me there are even those who love the cold and snow of winter (people who like things like skiing and snowshoeing!) Me, I love autumn. The leaves of course. The crisp chill at night and the particular blue of an autumn sky. The food—sweet potatoes and Brussels sprouts. Oatmeal with dates and gigs and nuts. Apples! But I think why I love autumn most is the A student in me still starts the year on the first day of school. Sharpen your pencils, line up your books, get started. For one so long out of school—me!—that means getting back to my 2 2 2 schedule: write two hours, read two hours, knit two hours. Then I head to the store and buy stuff for dinner—stews and soups and braised things. Since the weather finally changed,  Annabelle and I have has pasta fagiola, tortellini soup, pork chops. I’ve been eating roasted sweet potatoes (a little butter and salt) and pumpkin seed bread smeared with avocado for breakfast. I’ve lined up my knitting projects: orange mistake rib cashmere cowl from Purl Soho, Ferrymen fingerless mitts from Churchmouse Yarns in blue Donegal tweed, striped hats from Mason Dixon’s new field guide, socks and even a skirt! After dinner Annabelle and I cozy up on the couch and I knit while we watch The Gilmore Girls, an endless pleasure before book and bed. One of us has a wee dram of whiskey.

Some may be reading this and wondering where the husband is. Another delight of autumn is that NYC comes alive on stage, and we’ve been going to plays every chance we get. Mostly we have long weekends together as he launches his podcast From Scratch (subscribe!) and his new cookbook of the same name (a glorious gorgeous book, the only cookbook you’ll need said The Barefoot Contessa). The recipes are terrific and the pictures are stunning, all taken right in my loft. Plus he’s writing a new cookbook with the chef Gabriel Kreuther and the next French Laundry cookbook...the guy can barely come up for air. When he does, we get Chines food delivered and hide out in our Greenwich Village pad, emerging for shows and friends and drinks and movies. We just saw Pain and Glory and were gobsmacked. Tonight, after I teach, we are going to see Parasite, advance tickets in hand as it sells out every show.

I’m fulfilling my love of British crime novels by reading Caz Frear—Sweet Little Lies and now Stone Cold Heart. My stack of books to read this fall is a beautiful thing that includes Mrs. Palfrey at the Claremont, The Child Finder, Mr. Fox, and more. Also, Annabelle has started a book club with her aunt, me, and our dear friend. We read the fantastic We Were Liars and next up Turtles All the Way Down.

This weekend my beloved and I will be at the Brattleboro Literary Festival in Vermont, where the leaves should be putting on quite the show. Tonight it’s dinner with friends at Gene’s, a favorite old school Italian place of ours before I teach, movie after. Tomorrow I’ll be writing, getting in my two hours, while Michael interviews a chef in the Bronx for his podcast, lunch with the chef, then onward to Brattleboro. En route we will keep reading the masterpiece Revolutionary Road by Richard Yates out loud. Hopefully I’ll get some stitches done on that cashmere cowl. And there it is: 2 2 2.

I hope your autumn is full of soups and yarn and good books. 

To Grace at 23

You are an artist living near your brother in Bushwick

You are a hipster in Portland Oregon.

You went to RISD. You went to Reed. You went to Oberlin.

You are six feet tall, as the pediatrician predicted.

You are fearless.

You and your brother are still best friends.

You speak Mandarin.

You are funny.

Your hair is long, or pink, or shaved.

You still wear glasses, maybe like John Lennon.

You love the Beatles. Still.

Maybe you draw pictures for The New Yorker. You love Charles Addams and I bet by now also Roz Chast.

You are so smart. You are so ironic. You are 23. You are 23. You are 23. 

Autumn

I can’t believe I have not written here since May. Yet in some ways I can believe it. As you know, my mom died last year. But you probably don’t know how paralyzed by grief I’ve been. I’m writing at a glacial pace. My energy level is about as low as it can be. Everything is taking so much more time than usual. Yet I also know that grief is exhausting. It’s time consuming. It reeks havoc with you. And so, here I am. Undone.

Still, I’ve had such a wonderful summer. And my life is pretty darn good. I just am grieving hard. Giving myself time for that.

Summer. A trip to Northern California where my wonderful husband is working on the new French Laundry Cookbook. Which means I had the opportunity to eat at The French Laundry, for a meal and a night I will never forget. Champagne outside under that Northern California sky. Romantic dinner with astounding food and wine. That just began a trip that was practically perfect in every way: staying in a lodge in Big Sur, playing Yahtzee with Annabelle and her pal; hiking there the next day; visiting my old roomie in Santa Barbara where we had an unforgettable Fourth of July; dinner with my dear buddy Matt in LA...what a way to kick off summer.

And what a way to end it—five weeks in Europe with the people I love most (Sam, Annabelle, Michael...added bonus of GJ for a week and darling Katherine!), eating and drinking and card playing our way through Ireland, France and Italy. A dream trip.

And knitting and reading too. Socks (that’s the knitting) for the first time in ten years. I forgot how much fun they are! I have an autumn (and winter) worth of projects lined up—mitts and more docks and cashmere cowls and a skirt and...)

Have you read Barbara Trapido? Four books that had me charmed all summer. The new Kate Atkinson. WE WERE LIARS. Caz Frear’s British procedurals. A PLACE FOR US. PICTURES AT A REVOLUTION. ASK AGAIN, YES. Every one of them a must must read.

Today is officially the first day of fall. I’ve put my self on a familiar schedule. Write two hours. Read two hours. Knit two hours. This schedule works for me. Slowly, slowly. Grief abates. It doesn’t leave. It shouldn’t, should it?

Here’s to autumn. Today I saw red and yellow leaves here and there. 

Up, Up and Away!

I'm delighted to announce that I am working on a new book about my days as a flight attendant, back when flying was still glamorous. It’s been such fun researching the origins and development of that job over time, and to relive my own days in the sky. Michael and I were lucky enough to go to the opening of the new TWA Hotel, made right from TWA terminal 5 at JFK, my own place of departure for trips to Cairo, Athens, Rome, Paris, London, Madrid, and more. As soon as we walked in to that gorgeous building, designed by Eero Saarinen and opened in @1962, memories washed over me. The indescribable feeling of walking through the Jetson-like tunnel to my gate as part of a TWA 747 crew, all of us dressed in our Ralph Lauren uniforms and pulling our roller bags along. No one but flight attendants had those wheelie suitcases back then!  And standing under the departure board as it click click clicked. I admit I got teary a few times! There’s an old spiffed up Constellation parked there and used as a bar, where we sipped champagne. Jean-George Vongerichten has opened The Paris Cafe there, awash in pale pinks and oranges and the sunlight or airport lights that spill through the gorgeous windows and he gave us a tour, adding tidbits on the building’s history and on TWA and the renovation.

I can’t wait to return and actually stay in the hotel! And I can’t wait to write this book and share this story with all of you. For those of you who have asked where my next novel is, it’s coming along too. The title is THE MUSUEM OF TEARS.

Happy long weekend, though I know it’s a solemn one too. We are heading to Indiana yo eat lots and lots of fried chicken. You’ll read all about that in Michael’s New York Times piece about it, and my own piece in Food and Wine. May yours be filled with comfort food too.

Fourteen years ago today...

...we adopted Annabelle! Last night  I found myself remembering where I was on that night 14 years ago. In Hunan China. In a hotel with 10 other families, all of us waiting for morning when a bus would pull up and we would climb in and go to a government building and get our babies. How did I even sleep that night? I remember looking at the crib in the hotel room, empty, as if waiting for a baby to fill it. I remember arranging stuffed animals in it, folding and refolding the baby blanket knit together square by square by loving friends. I remember laying out the baby clothes, the diapers and bottles, the tiny shoes. We are spicy food with bad Great Wall if China wine. How did I even sleep that night?

Most of the people I loved supported the decision to add to our family after Grace died. But a very few worried it wasn’t the right thing to do. Me? I knew in my bones that it was exactly right, and I never once thought otherwise. This morning I realized that Grace had been dead almost exactly three years when we boarded that plane to Beijing, and the pain of losing her was still searing hot and ever present. But suddenly something else was moving in: joy.

At 10:00 the bus arrived and in no time we were being rushed into a room in that government building. Orphanage workers with babies ran down the corridor outside the room and before our guide closed the door I saw Annabelle, scared and confused, race past. If they hadn’t called us to come out I might have run after her. In no time our name was called and Annabelle was in our arms. I knew immediately that I would kill for her if I had to. The love I felt was that instantaneous. She was mine.

Somehow fourteen years have passed. Unbelievably, that baby in the purple footy pajamas is a freshman in high school, fluent in French, voracious reader, math whiz, card shark, loyal friend, fierce defender of what is right, hardworking student, musical theatre lover, loyal sister, teasing companion to my husband, cat owner, purple haired, curious traveler, my sidekick in all things, my daughter. My love and gratitude for her and for the mystery of this glorious mess called life knows no bounds. 

Spring!

I’m wearing my sandals! I don’t care if it’s only 40 degrees, I see sunshine and feel air tinged with warmth rather than chill. Last summer in Greece I noticed women wearing white Birkenstock’s and I fell in love with the look. As soon as I got back to NYC, I got a pair and wore them until my toes got numb. I’m so happy to have them on again.

More important news to share than my footwear is that I’ve started a new book project that has me dizzy with excitement: a memoir about my years as a flight attendant! No COFFEE, TEA OR ME (though I did reread that as research last week), it will not only share my own dreams and experiences but also cast a light on the evolution of the job and aviation. Tuesday I had lunch with one of my favorite people, Kate, a TWA flight attendant (hostess) in the late 1940s, and loved listening to her stories of flying. I’ve got a summer of visiting friends, searching archives, reading up on the topic—all so exciting I’m walking on air! 🤣

I’m also preparing for a lot of travel through spring and into summer, from teaching in Iceland to a romantic getaway in Portugal, a week in California driving down that gorgeous coast, a week in Truro with Annabelle, and then at the end of summer a month in Ireland and France and Italy with my wonderful husband and kids. The travel is a good mixture of teaching and just plain old fun. If you have the travel bug yourself, check out the writing workshop in Dingle Ireland where I’m teaching and my own Spannocchia Writers Workshop. It would be fun to see you there!

Speaking of where I’m teaching, if you’ve dreamed of someday writing that novel or memoir, and want to make that dream come true, I hope you’ll consider applying to the low residency MFA program I founded. It’s kind of a dream of mine to have built The Newport MFA, where students come to campus for a week in June and January for workshops, craft talks, readings, and time with our community of writers; the rest of the time is spent working one on one virtually with a faculty mentor. So you can write your book without disrupting your life! I’d love to have you join us if you’re ready!

I have been knitting like crazy. Have you? That usually signals not just the need for a new hat or a baby gift but something more going on for me emotionally. So no coincidence that my mom’s house goes on the market today after being in my family for over a hundred years. I cannot go there and see it empty. For some, that would be a necessary step in the grief process. But it would slay me. At night I find myself closing my eyes and touching things in the house: the stamps kept under the ashtray, the coffee mugs on a metal tree, the extra pillow behind the family room door should the need for a nap strike. I want to keep everything in its place in my mind, reminding me once again that grief is personal. There’s no rule book. No right way. We each find our own messy path through it. Be kind to yourself if you’re grieving, and gentle with others in grief.

So a ZickZack scarf, a skirt, a baby hat—all flying off my needles.

Please please read Barbara Trapido. I’ve just discovered her and am in love!

Now to pack for our late night flight to San Juan to visit Sam, whose theatre company What Will the Neighbors Say is in residency developing a play. In our future is a trip to the interior for roasted pork, a pool party, a lunch in Old San Juan, a hotel with an infinity food, and lots of time with each other. So precious, this.

Holidays

This week I have been blessed with some of the best reviews of my career for my new book, Kitchen Yarns: Notes in Love, Life and Food. It has been picked as People Magazine Book of the Week, Amazon Best December Book in both memoir and cookbooks, Washington Post top ten, Real Simple December Book, and even more! Just shows how food—eating it, cooking it, writing about it—is love and comfort. I hope you like the book, and that the recipes make you and your loved ones happy.

But with all this joy comes a sadness over missing my mom. I’ve been plowing ahead all year, getting done all the things that need to get done, working hard to keep grief in check. But the holidays always kind of keep us from sticking to that plan, don’t they? So it’s lots of pj time, knitting, reading, and keeping people I love close for me these days. Gobbling up Jane Gardham novels. Knitting hats like crazy. And binge watching The Great British Baking Show. Whatever brings comfort, right? I hope you are all doing the same, taking care of yourself during this happy sad time of year.

To celebrate my birthday my husband, kids, and cousins are spending the weekend in NYC: To Kill A Movkingbird, King Kong, Andy Warhol at the Whitney, Sam’s play Sources of Light Other Than the Sun, dinner at The Beatrice Inn and brunch at Untitled, birthday cake and lots of love. 💕 Even when sadness strikes, I remind myself I’m one lucky girl.

Tonight I’m making Gogo’s sauce and meatballs for dinner. Food. It keeps us close. Cook something that makes you smile.